To my sister I wrote:
Tracie,
I
started to right an email to everyone but I decided to do it one on one because
I wanted to tell you some things pretty close to my heart. The following
words are completely from the heart but they are nowhere near what the
situation deserves. I know I have a loving family. You guys have
been there for me through thick and thin and you’re still here. What a
testament to love. What a testament to family. I know I don’t show
it well but you guys mean the world to me.
32
years ago today I was an infant. I had no clue what was going on. I
can imagine waking up hungry and happy. I had no idea what was in store
for me as I was dressed in my santa suit. When I think about it today I
imagine you guys in some checkout line waiting to pay for your new baby. J
The years that would come would be the best that a guy like me could ever hope
for. I don’t know what my other life would have had in store for me but I
know what this one has yielded.
It gave me a sister that would do anything for me. You have loved me
through my roughest times and you are still here. You’re one of my best
friends. Tracie, I would do anything for you. I haven’t known the
love of any other sibling but I can’t imagine it being any more full of
goodness than what you give me, Trace. You don’t know this but in my
darkest moments when I didn’t think I could go on in life, when I just wanted
everything to go away and when I wanted to literally die. There was one
person I could never bring myself to leave. It was you, Tracie. You
have saved my life in more ways than one. I don’t know if it was all the
smiles and laughter we’ve shared or remembering curling up to you in your bed
Christmas Eve’s so long ago. I don’t know. I just know that I never
wanted to lose you. Now, being a little older and finally being able to
see what an amazing family I have I am completely baffled that you’re still
here with me. Behind me. Rooting me on.
So here’s to YOU on this Gotcha Day. It wasn’t you who was blessed
with a baby brother. It was some poor child who didn’t have a home.
A little boy that no one called their own that found his way into this family
where love has never been an issue. See, it was never you who got
me. It is the other way around. It’s always been me who got
you. So I celebrate you today. I celebrate mom and dad and
Kylie. You guys are the only things that matter in life. You 3 are
worth valuing and loving and giving it all for. So here’s to a new year
of being your brother. Here’s to a new year of being Kylie’s uncle.
I know I haven’t been there for you these past few years. But I’m here
now, Tracie. And I love you.
I. Love. You.
Your proud brother,
Joshua
To my father I wrote:
The
following words are completely from the heart but they are nowhere near what
the situation deserves. I know I have a loving family. You guys
have been there for me through thick and thin and you’re still here. What
a testament to love. What a testament to family. I know I don’t
show it well but you guys mean the world to me.
32 years ago today I was an
infant. I had no clue what was going on. I can imagine waking up
hungry and happy. I had no idea what was in store for me as I was dressed in my santa suit. When I think
about it today I imagine you guys in some
checkout line waiting
to pay for your new baby. J
The years that would come would be the best that a guy like me could ever hope
for. I don’t know what my other life would have had in store for me but I
know what this one has yielded.
Dad, you were always the example to me of what it was to be disciplined in my
walk with God. Every ounce of determination that I have I got from
you. And every area I see lacking in my life when it comes to taking care
of a family is from you. Every area that I see in my life where I am
undisciplined is because you are the template for that. As I’ve gotten
older I realized that I am SO much like you. I wanted to share with you
something I wrote a while back. It’s about you. Take the time to
read it.
***Please reference 'Like Father... Like Son...'*** - I'd never shared this with the old man and he still may not get it when he reads it but I can only hope that at the end of my life I have loved half as much as that man.
To my mother, I wrote:
Good morning and happy Gotcha
Day,
The
following words are completely from the heart but they are nowhere near what
the situation deserves. I know I have a loving family. You guys have
been there for me through thick and thin and you’re still here. What a
testament to love. What a testament to family. I know I don’t show
it well but you guys mean the world to me.
32
years ago today I was an infant. I had no clue what was going on. I
can imagine waking up hungry and happy. I had no idea what was in store
for me as I was dressed in my santa suit. When I think about it today I
imagine you guys in some checkout line waiting to pay for your new baby. J
The years that would come would be the best that a guy like me could ever hope
for. I don’t know what my other life would have had in store for me but I
know what this one has yielded.
I say
that, mom, because I finally see that it was never you, or Tracie or dad that
got me. It is me who got you. The adoption creed you gave me sits
on top of my desk. I see it every day. I can recite it from
memory. It goes “Not flesh of my flesh nor bone of my bone, But still
miraculously my own. Never forget a single minute – You didn’t grow under
my heart but in it.”
How does a man know what love really is? How does he figure out how to
move one from heartbreak? What happens when a fool has done so much
damage and no one wants to be in his life? Who does he turn to?
Where does one go when he’s burned every bridge he possibly could? When
the pain seems to much and there is only one place for him to go, where does he
go? When all hope was lost and faith was disappearing faster and faster
every moment what does he have to believe in? I don’t know about other
men but I turned to you. You were/are the one to show me what love is
capable of. You were the example of pressing on. You have always
been here. You are the one I can turn to. You were the unbreakable
fireproof bridge. You are worth believing in because, by the grace of
God, you have never let me down.
So here is to you on Gotcha Day, Joy, mom, friend. To you. I may
have grown in your heart but that is because your heart is so big. You
have and will always love me and I know that now. If I ever need a
template for loving the unlovable I will simply look at our relationship.
I will look to you and what you’ve shown me in life. I can honestly say
that I know what it truly is to care for someone because of you. So thank
you, mom. Thank you for being my friend. Thank you for picking me
up that December day so many years ago. Thank you for all the years that
would come. Thank you for being my Louis Lane when I was Superman.
I would leap off the couch with my cape and fly into your bedroom to save
you. How ironic that it would be you over the years that would swoop in
to save me. And save me you did, time and time again. I love
you. I will never forget what you’ve done for me and I will never forget
that I’ve but just glimpsed the love you have for me. I could only hope
that one day I will be able to love others half as much as you have loved me
and my sister. Thank you, mom.
I. Love. You.
Your son, Your Sonshine,
Joshua Allen Gumienny
So that's a small testament to how much I am loved. It took me 32 years to really see it. Thank God my eyes have been opened to the love that has just been showered upon me for 32 years. And here's to the rest of my life being grateful to my family. Love is unstoppable. Love is victorious. Love covers a multitude. Love simply is. Love. Wins. Always remember that.
